sometimes people leave things behind. even cats, they get left behind more often than not and not by any fault of the owner. not necessarily on purpose though one time there was that old tom nobody much cared for and there was no sadness there. he'd scratch you just for the sake of doing it. he was over by the wash shed licking himself in the sun like nobody's business, his paw curled tight just like a fiddlehead before he licked it then rubbed his head. over and over. a cat's life: anybody would want that. brother, was it brother? might have been eula, or little sister. anyway, one of them cried but nobody else, when that big old tom stopped washing then ran after them his old bent tail pointed to the blue sky.
and there was dolly lost in the snow we never did find but that was brother's fault and even he said so. more lost than forgotten; nobody forgets the first thing they loved, not in those days they didn't. now maybe. maybe there is more to love these days but not then no siree. not in them days. there was one doll or one wooden toy of a sort and you'd a haved to carved that yourself or maybe an uncle give it to you. the uncles brought the presents. not always but sometimes, the nicest ones did it proper. they did have a lot of uncles (and here there is a pause in the recording. the notes say subject asked to be excused but rmained sitting. asked for water. 11:46 resume)
oh yes there were the uncles. that's what we called them or mister. sometimes they'd want to go as mister. my favorite was a cowboy, most of em were you know, they were rough men and lived hard lives. workers. in those days everbody was a worker. whether you liked it or not! (laughs). that was just the way it was and there was no use moping or fussing. there was a lot in keeping a family goin', fed and with clothes. we had a garden, a big garden! let's see, I'd figure it was bout from here clear to the wall yonder by that ficus. i'm pretty sure that's a ficus but my eyes.
so mama left every fall with one of the uncles. wha? yes, she'd leave. it was hard at first. hardest that first time because we had no idea. it was on a saturday I remember that clean as day. november; for some reason always november. she'd wait until everthing was in you know, the corn and we'd of had it milled and she'd make sure we had beans and such to get by on. winters were hard in them days. hard. one day the wind was blowing and we'd heard the dogs having a row. by dogs do you know what i mean? not these little pretty ones no. wolves. there was coyotes and later lots more of em once the wolves were run out but a long while the wolves would come around and i mean they meant business. the cow if you had one would have to be put up for the winter in the shed. so i had dropped dolly when brother sent me to the smokehouse and it was still dark and of course a little girl, she doesn't like to do those things. children these days have no idea their parents neither. we had to it was just so. made you who you are. so brother said i must go and the storm was blowing it had been snowing all night and the smokehouse door was froze when i got there. i ought not to have taken her what do children think? we had an old dog brother called cub and he came crawlin out under the shed and was happy to see me thinking i'd give him a bit of something. he was hoping to lick at the salt (laughs) but mama would have a fit if he got in there. one old dog got shut in there one time and what a mess. she made brother shoot him.
the storm was blowing fierce and brother had to come out and get me. i was too scared to get back to the house and just stayed there and then he was there like that. that was brother. he could be hard on us but i knew him best. i was his favorite you see. we get back in and mama is pretty upset with the bacon being locked up and my hands were pretty near froze off. one of em made me sit and poured hot water over and that is painful when they start coming around. then there was somebody at the door and brother went to it and a man was there come for mama. she got a satchel she had packed and said she'd be back in the spring but we did not know and after a time i don't suppose we counted on that or maybe we forgot she'd told us so. it was the first time and she did it ever winter thereafter. we all watched em go the snow like a big sheet they just went into and were gone. just like that. and i cried! oh i cried. i wanted my mama. but brother told me to hush and i did. brother was in charge and you know he was fourteen and it was hard. i suppose it was hardest on him. how we got by i have no idea. we just did. i was looking for dolly after the thaw had started and brother was hunting with cub and there she was riding up on the back of the man's horse. she got right off and went straight to the house and that was that. she said where is army, and i said who and she said brother. i never knew his name i mean his names was brother that's what i knew. but his real name was armageddon. he was the first and that was what she named him.
and i never did find dolly. brother said the wolves et her and maybe they did. it was a long winter.
